Body Image & Sex
Is it lights off in the bedroom when the time comes for some romance? Are you avoiding sex because you're uncomfortable with your body? Sexual health expert Dr. Hilda Hutcherson offers some great tips to give your confidence a boost so you can feel sexy in your own skin.
"In my experience, poor body image is the number one cause of bad sex for women," Dr. Hutcherson says. "If you don't feel good about yourself, what happens is your brain kind of leaves your body and you become a spectator. And you say 'Oh don't touch, don't look at this, don't look at that,' and before you know it the sex is over."
Rachel agrees, "We are thinking too much about ourselves when we get into the sack."
"Much too much," Dr. Hutcherson says. She finds this leaves people feeling far too self conscious. "Most couples want to have the lights off, under the cover where you really don’t want to see anything at all."
A more romantic option, she says, is to light some candles and create a flattering environment. But if that doesn't work, Dr. Hutcherson offers up her best tip. "It works, I did it myself. You walk around your house naked -- not when the kids are there or your husband's there -- lock the doors, pull the blinds and just walk around naked," she says. "It's just so liberating. And then you walk around and you stand in the mirror and you tell yourself that you're beautiful just the way you are, because it's internal."
Rachael jokes she would "have to have a couple glasses of wine" to try out this exercise and Dr. Hutcherson says that's just fine. "You have to change those negative messages that you have about your body."
For those who are leery of how they look in lingerie, she suggests a different approach to slinky attire. "It's again how you feel about yourself. So my tip is to take one of his t-shirts and cut holes in strategic places," she says. "And then just rock it!"
But just how often should you rock it to feel good about your sex life? "When you look at the statistics people are having sex, on average, one and a half times a week for about three minutes," Dr. Hutcherson says.
"Three minutes?" Rachael asks in surprise.
In fact, Dr. Hutcherson says it's even less for some so there's no reason to feel your own experience does not measure up to the masses. "The average couple's not going through the Kama Sutra every night, 300 positions in three minutes, it just doesn't happen."
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